Wilderness Within Podcast
While my primary focus has been on storytelling for impact-driven organisations and individuals, my passion for exploring diving deeper with people 1 on 1, hearing their stories, and learning from one another really shines through one of my passion projects, the Wilderness Within podcast. Wilderness Within (WW) is an exploration of inner worlds through shared stories and lived experiences with changemakers and visionaries whom I get to call friends across the globe. The project was birthed by the realisation of radical it is to have such inspirational people in my life, and the interest to dive beyond the superficial and into the depths of one's devotions and motivations in life. Each episode is intended to be an open share and celebration of the triumphs, failures, learnings, and vulnerabilities of these wonderful humans and myself, Kai J. Lee. WW is also a space where I occasionally share personal stories and lessons from years living as a community-supported, purpose-driven, story and human experience-loving content creator and ex-nomad around our beautiful earth. This project has been funded entirely by supporters on Patreon.
The Backstory
Ever since launching my patreon in 2018, I've kept my mind open to what original creations I'd set my energy and attention towards.
My interest to dive beyond the superficial and explore the depths of one's devotions has often led to discomfort and/or vulnerability, followed almost always by learning and expansion. I have always found short blurbs and quick responses on social media and a majority of online (and at times in-person too) interactions to be inadequate and unsatisfying. When I released my newsletter in early 2021, it felt like an organic progression in my quest to continue sharing interesting and at times provoking information, snippets from sometimes an unconventional perspective, and thoughts not bound by a certain maximum number of characters and ever-evolving algorithms. The response from every month has been stellar - the feedback, comments, and conversations that have been rekindled or sprouted couldn't have been possible in my opinion if I only relied on social media.
Within several months of starting the newsletter, I thought to myself ‘How can I get to even greater depths within myself and with others?’ It was around a campfire on a camping trip with a friend when the idea struck - the profound and powerful realisation that everyone I need to lean into, to get advice from, to collaborate with, etc., are already in my own network. People I call friends can already form the “avengers” team I may need to overcome a difficulty or challenge. I sat with this incredible thought for hours as I kept feeding the fire with fresh logs. By dawn it was all too clear - deep dives with some of my most inspirational friends would be shaped into a podcast as a snippet of our state of minds and beings of that time. We’d be able to hear back on that conversation like looking through old photographs. The bonus possibility? It’s relatable and can provide value for others too, because at the very bottom of it all is our shared humanity.
Through inspiring conversations with friends in late 2021, the name of Wilderness Within (WW) took form. Just as the name subtledream came to be decades ago and I still find it to be beautiful and fitting for me, I believe Wilderness Within has stuck and will continue to. In the very last hours of 2021, I sent out the initial email-invitation to my guests-to-be, and the very first 3 conversations were recorded in early 2022 in southern Mexico and coastal Ecuador. This feels very fitting for the global network of humans I have gotten the utmost pleasure, privilege, and honor to call friends and share life with. What I believe sets this podcast apart from other podcasts or projects I've embarked on is the simple yet incredible fact that I interview people who I have a direct connection with. Through the past decade of globetrotting, living nomadically, and spending time in communities of various interests and intersectionalities have brought me in contact with a plethora of quality humans with depth and stories to share.
In the pilot episode-trailer, I share the "ah-ha" moment in the Spring of 2021 during a camping trip with an old friend outside of Los Angeles in California, and the months and years that followed of its shaping and materialization.
Tune in: YouTube, RSS, iHeartRadio, Deezer, Pandora, TuneIn, Spotify (no longer due to this), Apple Podcast, Listen Notes
Follow: Instagram @wildernesswithinpod
A big, big thank you for the ongoing contributions of my patreon supporters and for Scout Rockwell + Carlos Militante - music producers for WW - in making this project possible.
Every month, I redirect ~10% of my Patreon earnings to charities, changemakers, indie content creators such as FixTheNews, HappenFilms, The Wild with Chris Morgan,
and The Emerald Podcast that in my opinion contribute to a more beautiful world and rebuild the connections between each other as well as with ourselves.
Andy Vantrease
On Following Your Heart,
Work as Devotion & the Cyclic Nature of Everything (WW 08)
Andy and I were housemates on the Oaxacan coast in early 2023. We'd wake up, walk to morning meditations at a local centre, drift down to the beach, cook together, and marvel at the plants and wildlife around our tropical setting. It was one of those rare pockets of life where everything seemed to slow down just enough to actually feel it.
Andy Vantrease is a writer, storyteller, and women's coach who has spent nearly two decades honing a craft that, on the surface, looks like writing or interviewing, but underneath is really about creating the conditions for people to be truly heard. From freelance journalism to producing the Dandelion Effect Podcast at Feathered Pipe Ranch in Montana, to one-on-one story mapping sessions, to facilitating circles for nurses in California, her work kept finding new forms while staying rooted in the same thread: helping people see their own magic. Since we recorded that conversation, Andy’s path has taken another turn. She now works specifically with women, educating on menstrual health, cycle wisdom and female body literacy. She is a student of the Blood Mysteries School and holds classes, circles and private sessions that help women come home to their bodies and understand the power of their biological design.
So while what you’ll hear is Andy as she was in January 2023, the roots of everything she's moved toward since are all here, present and growing. We talk about what it means to build a creative livelihood without being trapped inside a label. The difference between a side gig and a calling, and the slow, unglamorous process of learning to price yourself as a whole person rather than just a finished product. The cyclic nature of life and how things, projects, relationships and chapters all want to die so something new can grow. Seva, selfless service, and why Andy isn't convinced she believes in it anymore. Through an NGO in rural Nepal where we first met, we also dove into what it taught us about reciprocity, sustainability, and the real cost of burning out in the name of devotion.
Love you, Andy! <3
Follow Andy and her work via: https://andyvantrease.com/
Alyson Noele Sagala
Making Meaning and Letting Go as a Creator (WW 07)
"Living with openness isn’t easy, but it’s the only way I feel truly connected."
In this intimate, firelit conversation recorded in the oak woodlands of Mendocino, I sit down with someone who has long felt like a little sister to me - Alyson. We’ve shared many chapters over the years, from our time living and working in Nepal to weaving our own creative paths through life. What we spoke about in 2023 still holds weight today, perhaps even more so in this ever-accelerating world.
Together, we unpack themes of identity, ego, creativity, and care. Alyson reflects on growing up Filipino-American in San Jose, California, finding healing through gardening and natural dyeing, and wrestling with the writer’s journey - the guilt, the fixation, the fear. We talk candidly about the shadow side of service, and the ever-present tug between doing what we love and doing what we think will make us lovable.
This episode is a heartfelt tribute to the cycles we move through - in art, in life, in healing. It's a timestamp of where we were, and a torchlight for the path still unfolding.
Patreon supporters get access to the special fireside video & extended version!
Scott Hanson
Becoming the Man, Husband,
and Father He Had Journaled About (WW 06)
"It’s no longer getting healthy because I should. It’s getting healthy because I’m trying to become fit for fatherhood - physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally."
In this heartfelt catch-up, I sat down with my dear friend and brother, Scott Hanson - a man whose life story reminds me (and all of us) what happens when you listen to your gut, surrender to change, and build a life of intentional service and community.
Scott and I rewinded the tape all the way back to where it began: the mountains of Nepal eight years ago, swinging hammers, sharing tea, and learning the quiet power of living and working in true community. From there, our paths kept crossing: weddings, big moves, late-night conversations, and, on this day, a milestone moment - we recorded this just after his baby shower for twins (!) in Albuquerque, New Mexico in 2023.
This episode celebrates a friendship rooted in adventure, honesty, and mutual witness; the tender power of becoming a father - and how it pushes a man to grow up again and again; Scott’s reflections on leaving behind old habits, building new ones (think: haikus); the sacred role of community, especially in the western world where isolation can feel all too normal; his commitment to raising kids in a world with more connection, care, and good mischief.
We laughed, we teared up, we time-traveled through Scott’s memories - from engineering "empty buildings" in the California Bay Area to building schools & community in Nepal, and now a family rooted in ancestral soil.
I have witnessed Scott become the man, husband, and father he had journaled about.
Look for Scott under Scout Rockwell on your fav music streaming platform - half of the Wilderness Within soundtrack has his fingerprints all over them. And, @scout.rockwell on Insta.
Kai J. Lee
Becoming the Storyteller:
A Walk Through Truth, Grief, and Gratitude (WW 05)
In this deeply personal solo episode, yours truly, Kai J., return to one of the lands that raised me - Los Angeles - to walk, reflect, and speak aloud the truths that have shaped my latest chapter. Through spontaneous storytelling on the trail, I explore what it means to finally meet the hero I've been searching for: myself. From honouring ancestral roots and interviewing my parents on camera for the first time, to shedding victimhood and stepping into authorship of my own life story, this is an intimate meditation on privilege, presence, and the power of becoming our own witness. Blending ancestral reverence with humble awe for modern miracles, I invite all listeners into a moment of grounded gratitude and radical self-honesty. This episode is a reminder that storytelling isn’t just for others - it’s for the future self, too. Whether we're in transition, healing family dynamics, or redefining our own path, this episode holds space for the question: What story are we here to tell - and are we brave enough to be its protagonist?
I created this exclusive video version featuring footage from the walk & talk, as well as photos + additional commentary for Patreon supporters :
Stream, subscribe, tune into the rest
Spotify (no longer due to this)
Instagram @wildernesswithinpod
for bonus videos + exclusives, behind the scenes: Patreon
The Unfolding
We’re currently in production mode. 17 episodes with 18 unique humans have been recorded, with the latest guests (and guests-to-be) in Aotearoa New Zealand and Australia. Subscribe to my newsletter or directly to Wilderness Within on your favourite streaming service to stay informed.
WW is fueled by my own curiosity, desire to connect with friends deeper through hearing their stories and inner worlds, and is funded primarily by my supportive patreon community, who pitch in monthly or on an annual basis. This helps to keep the podcast ad-free (a rarity these days!) and makes my life better in all the ways. I am very grateful for all the supporters past, present, and future.
Mauri ora - to well-being and the living essence in us all.
- Kai
Let’s Work Together
